I hate goodbyes (and their inevitability)
Moving abroad is often seen as an exciting adventure —it truly is!
It's a chance to explore new cultures, meet new people, and create unforgettable memories.
For those who love traveling, the charm of a new country, with its promise of fresh experiences and opportunities, is hard to resist. We pack our bags and book that flight with eyes sparkling and full hearts. However, there's an emotional aspect that doesn't get enough attention: the heart-wrenching goodbyes. And I'm not just talking about farewells to family and hometown friends. The hardest part is saying goodbye to the people you've met along the way.
The family you choose
Moving abroad, doing a gap year, or traveling for an extended period often stirs a mix of emotions, particularly when it comes to goodbyes. There are two kinds of farewells.
On one hand, saying goodbye to family and friends at home can be a heavy burden. Leaving loved ones behind means accepting that life back home continues without you while you must adapt to a new environment on your own.
On the other hand, there are the goodbyes to the people you meet along the way — often described as “the family you choose." These farewells are bittersweet. Bonds form quickly, sometimes within just a few weeks, making it feel as if you've known each other for years. When it's time to move on, those bonds can make it incredibly hard to say goodbye because they have become more than friends. They understood us better than anyone else when we needed it the most. It's about parting ways with those who have become our pillars of support through our entire journey.
The heart aches when you acknowledge that you don't know when you'll see each other again — if at all. Sometimes it seems like we'll stay best friends, but reality can be very different.
Instead of saying goodbye, let's say "see you later"
Having lived abroad multiple times, I've experienced the bittersweet nature of goodbyes more than I'd like to admit. Each move brings a new set of friends and memories, yet the inevitable farewell never gets any easier. We feel a deep sense of sadness at leaving behind everything and everyone we've grown to know and love.
No matter how many times we say goodbye, it never gets easier. So if you're waiting for some recommendations, sorry — I don't have them myself. But instead of saying goodbye, let’s say “see you later.”
The magical reunions
Sometimes, you'll meet up again and it's going to be magical. There are those instances where, despite the passage of time, you reunite with old friends and it feels as if nothing has changed. You pick up right where you left off, and the bond remains as strong as ever.
The silent estrangement
On the flip side, there are friendships that don't survive the test of time and distance. You lose contact, and you have no idea where they live or what they're doing. It's a natural part of life, but it doesn't make it any less painful. The silent estrangement leaves an unspoken sadness, a void that once was filled by familiar experiences, meet-ups, home-cooked meals, crying, worries, long phone calls, and confessions. But in a way, that void also serves as a reminder of the special place that person holds in your heart, and the memories you shared together.
Despite having gone through this emotional cycle many times, the sadness remains the same. It's a deep melancholy that lingers, a silent acknowledgment that some relationships will endure while others will fade away.
For every end, there's a new beginning.
Despite the sadness that comes with goodbyes, those moments are also an opportunity to truly appreciate the connections we've made and the impact they've had on us. These people have shaped us, and although we may say goodbye to them physically, their influence will always remain with us.
In fact, while goodbyes can be emotionally draining, they also serve as reminders of how much we've grown during our time abroad. We may have come into this experience as strangers to each other but leave with meaningful connections and cherished memories. These goodbyes also mark the beginning of a new chapter in our lives, one that will undoubtedly bring its own set of challenges and opportunities. Instead of dwelling on what we're leaving behind, we can choose to focus on what lies ahead. Embracing change is an essential part of living abroad, and it's something that we've already learned to do since the day we left our home country. We've adapted to new cultures, languages, and ways of life, and this has made us who we are today. Every goodbye is a chance for a fresh start. Embrace the unknown and the potential it brings.
For every end, there's a new beginning. And remember that this doesn't mean your people lose any value or importance; it simply marks the transition into a new phase of our relationships.The end of one chapter is merely the prologue to the next. Don’t be sad about it; it's the natural course of life.
Embracing new connections
This reminds us that no matter where we are in the world, there is always common ground to be found with others.
Living abroad or far away from home is a journey full of ups and downs. While the thrill of new experiences is real, the emotional weight of saying goodbye to close friends and loved ones is just as significant. It's key to understand that goodbyes are part of the adventure and make room for new, enriching experiences. Embrace the adventure, and cherish the connections that make it all worthwhile.
Remember that you haven’t met all the people who are going to change your life yet. Keep moving.
P.S. This is dedicated to all the people I've met along the way. Thank you for the beers, the sunsets at the beach, the shared Ubers, the warmth of home-cooked meals, the nights out at the club, the coffee breaks, the last-minute trips, the bad decisions, the spontaneous plans, and the deep talks under the stars.
